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Nelly — I don’t think any kid is happy with divorce. They adapt; what can I say? But, at least he has two very loving households, one with me, one with his dad.
 Candance says:June 3, 2010 at 4:00 pmTo greatmumoftwofuturefathers, men from single mothers are full of issues. I ended up as a single mother against my will because my ex-boyfriend son of a single mother by choice abandoned me and his daughter after swearing that he would be the greatest father on earth because not having a father made him want to be a good father more than anything. When my daughter was born he never showed up at the hospital, and one week after he told me he didn’t want anythign to do with us anymore. I can tell that he learned pretty good the importance of men in childrearing from his mother. I think the best that you can do is keep you future fathers away from women who actually want a family.
 Not a Mom says:June 3, 2010 at 5:35 pmCandace,
Wow. Harsh much? Just because you got a dud doesn’t mean sons of single moms are all going to bail on future families.
Way to generalize!
 Liz says:June 3, 2010 at 6:21 pm“I wonder what your kids will say one day … I sure do hope that they feel like you do.”
As do I.
 KC says:June 3, 2010 at 6:22 pmDon’t worry Candace,,,
It only lasts about a week… then the period comes and the pressure eases…. and you’ll be good as knew again…! LOLKC´s last blog ..Memorial Day weekend My ComLuv Profile
 Nelly says:June 3, 2010 at 6:33 pmKat,I’m not really sure how to phrase this and I’m not trying to be sarcastic.
Do you think it would have been in your child’s best interest to never have been born if you knew you’d eventually end up getting divorced?
I can’t speak for every choicemom, but I can say that the family I come from is incredibly supportive and filled with loving men. I think any child would be very lucky to be part of the clan. So yes, I think it would be in any child’s best interest to be raised by me and be part of my family. It’s a happy life with lots of good people around.
I’m incredibly in tuned to what is in a child’s best interest. I’m 37 but thought I needed to save some money before I even thought about having a child. So I left I job I really liked for a higher paying one, where I will work for a year. I realize it means I have a year less fertility left. So it’s definitely not all about me. I am willing to risk not having children for something I think would be detrimental to a child’s well-being.
On the other hand, I really don’t think it is detrimental to a child to be raised by one parent. Maybe two is better (if they are both good parents), but one loving and responsible parent is capable of raising a loving and responsible child. On the other hand, maybe two isn’t better… it’s just what we’re used to.
Honestly, I am not someone who is tied to the idea that I must have a biological child but I can understand why some women are. It’s incredibly difficult and expensive to adopt any of those waiting children and that’s a real problem with our system.
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